Thursday, December 31, 2009

What a Difference a Year Makes

Just got back from a northeast tour that reminded me sometimes you have to leave home to be reminded of where it is. Great time spent in Maine with the family, in Boston with friends and in Pennsylvania meeting a whole new group of family and friends.

Last year New Orleans was just an idea, a figment of a plan and now as we are about to ring in 2010 I am going to do so in this adopted city. Where people have been drinking since last night and at midnight tonight the city will gather around a giant gumbo pot and watch it drop. Yeah you read right. Here we don't watch a ball drop. We watch a gumbo pot drop. Oh Yes.

Last year I spent New Years watching MTV's countdown alone in my apartment in Beacon Hill. Playing Wordmole on my Blackberry and trying to answer the always challenging question - how did this become my life? I find myself faced with the same question this year. Except instead of asking it because everything is in pieces at my feet I pose it out of a place of simple awe and gratitude. I feel so lucky for this year, for all the good and the bad because they led me here. To a new town, a new profession, a new group of wonderful friends who compliment, not replace my old friends and my boy. Who saw me when I couldn't even see myself and who loved me in spite of myself.

I don't make resolutions and I got out of the prediction game along time ago. So right now I am just going to be thankful. For my life, my health, my family, my friends new and old, my cats, my job, for all the opportunities that lay ahead and for Huey.

Happy New Year!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

It's the Holidays...

Why do people put Christmas lights on Palm Trees? I feel like I am living in a Jimmy Buffet song.

A big upside to living in the south though...nobody is politically correct enough to say "Happy Holidays" so everyone just walks around saying Merry Christmas. There is something liberating about that kind of stubbornness. While the rest of the world worries that the holiday cards they buy might somehow offend someone, people in NOLA seem perfectly content to assume everyone celebrates Christmas.

It has finally gotten cold here. Some mornings it has even been in the low 40s. I know I know. Not really cold. But because of the humidity, the cold here permeates your bones. Its as if once you get cold you can not seem to warm up. The kids try to sneak sweatshirts and mittens on under their uniforms, the teachers don't take their coats off. The mobile classrooms have holes in floors that keep a constant flow of cold air that fights the already struggling heating system for control.

4 school days left till winter break. 4 school days and one day of professional development until winter break. Even though there is SO much to do before I come home, it feels good to be almost there. So Happy Holidays all! From my Palm Tree to yours..."may your days be merry and bright and may all your Christmas' be white...."

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Thanksgiving 2009 As Told Per Status Updates

Thanksgiving has once again come and gone. This year I used the break to clean up the mess I left behind in Boston. Rather then relive it and type it here, I have included my status updates to document the holiday. Thanks to mom and Rob for a great Thanksgiving and the storage space in their basement. To Dierdre for helping me move out (again). To Cami, Paul and everyone at EMI who made it feel like coming home instead of coming for a visit. And to my brother. Who sat with me at the court house, went with me to rent the truck, did more then his share of moving my stuff and kept me laughing.

11/24 (2:15pm) - Getting ready to go back north...and wishing she could just sit on her ass down here instead...

11/24 (6:06pm) - Traffic. long term parking. no first class on the first leg. but thanks to Jen for keeping me company remotely! Charlotte NC here I come.

11/24 (8:41pm) - In Charlotte. Amazing how I get angrier as I get closer to Boston.

11/24 (11:23pm) - In Boston. Cab driver didn't try to rip me off. Still want to throw up. Maybe morning will be better.

11/25 (5:25am) - Nope.

11/25 (6:15am) - Outside 63 Mt Vernon. that is all.

11/25 (7:21am) - Feels like someone coming home from war to find the Yankees raided her house. or I've been watching too much Gone with the Wind.

11/25 (10:42am) - Thank you EMI! and thank you Edward. the best brother ever.

11/25 (12:11pm) - Meleena is filing for divorce.

11/25 (2:59pm) - Packing the Penske. Again. Thank you Edward and Deirdre. Again.

11/25 (7:54pm) - Parent's house. steak. fire. wine. good end to a long day.

11/27 (11:44am) - Headed home. good turkey. great people. thanks to all who made a hard trip fun and enjoyable!

11/27 (4:35pm) - Last leg of the trip. wish you were going to be there when I got home.

Monday, November 23, 2009

You Can't Go Home Again

Well maybe you can...but it's never the same. As the countdown clock ticks down to my first trip North since leaving last May, I feel as though I am going to a foreign place, instead of to a place I lived for 13 years.

New Orleans has so quickly become home. The city, the language (yes it is different here), the job, the weather, the people.

I am much delayed in posting photos and of talking about my job. It sometimes feels like there is so much to say that it is silly to post it all and so little to say since what seems so "new" to me is just life for the people that are from here.

I will try to use the upcoming (brief) break - ok the plane rides (all four of them in 3 days) to write up some of the more interesting anecdotes...but will start with this one as a set-up. The kids here (teenagers really) have a very unique set of slang and jargon that they use all the time. It is often hard to tell if they are mocking you, insulting you or just talking to you...for example, if you ask someone how they are they are likely to respond "I'm Gucci".

So after getting to know some of my new 10th grade students I asked one of them what some of the words meant. In addition to being entertained at the idea of getting to explain all of his slang to his teacher he also said the following comment:
"Alright Ms. Eaton, I'll make you a deal. You teach me how to read and I'll be your Hood Dictionary."

My very own Hood Dictionary...I am a lucky girl...

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Round the Rampant Rugged Rocks...

Fall break is upon us. Unit 1 is in the books and Unit 2 is underway. Time is picking up speed. Lesson plans, IEPs, parent conferences, training, students, oil changes, grocery shopping. I am grateful I am a multitasker. Grateful to be surrounded by people who understand what I am dealing with everyday.

We launched a new reading program at school this week. So far it is off to a great start. we have already helped two kids raise their reading level by one full grade level. If we keep up this pace we will have everyone close to grade level by the end of the year.

Had a great time with my friend Deirdre a few weeks ago when she came down to the Big Easy. We balanced some touristy things with just hanging out and it was so good to have a piece of home down here.

The city continues to amaze me. The streets, the people, the food. So much still to be explored. To be learned.

I have 4 days off this weekend. I am not sure what I am going to do with myself. Except I know I am going to get a cat. So many animals here have been and continue to be abandoned. It is the least I can do on that front.

My best wishes to everyone...I miss you all...

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Ode to Labor Day

As many of you know I have for years (well since 1997 anyway) kept a book of quotes and poems and ads and articles that I thought were interesting or funny or thought provoking. A few years ago an editorial ran in the New York Times that has stuck with me and I think would have even if I hadn't written it down. I don't know who wrote it, but it is below. May this year will be the year.

New York Times editorial
September 4, 2006

So August was busier then you meant it to be and September is already overbooked and spilling into October.

It's not too early to buy plane tickets home for Thanksgiving and whose turn is it to have Christmas anyway?

Meanwhile there is today, Labor Day. It isn't much except of course, that it's everything.

Perhaps this will be the Monday that refuses to admit the existence of Tuesday.

This City

So things have been hectic - work is busy and learning to wake up at 5am is a hard lesson at my age! The city is in full swing however. Mid-summer Mardi Gras was last weekend and let me just say if it is any indication of what we are in for in February best to strap in now and start looking for a costume...or at least some body paint and glitter as that seems to be the costume of choice.

This weekend is Summer Decadence which is basically the gay Mardi Gras which would have been cooler to experience if I had known that was going on. Instead I just spent most of yesterday afternoon being confused about the number of shirtless men in assless chaps. It's always something in this town I tell you.

Time is moving faster now, with each day marked with the sound of my heals walking down the metal ramp of the Middle School's trailer on my way to the cafeteria to oversee 200 6th and 7th graders eat eggs and tator tots and some sort of weird biscuit with meat cooked inside. The sun has only been up for an hour or so and the morning air is starting to feel cool. The summer feels like eons ago and as another Labor Day passes by I am filled with regret for all the days and months I wished away. For all the time I wasted. Not anymore.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Bow Ties and Haikus

Great week. Just great! We had all of our new students for orientation this week at school. 33 new 7th graders (with another 90 or so joining on 8/17). We got them acclimated to the school culture, taught them the schools core value and got to know them.

I taught them how to write Haiku's and have been blown away by the thoughtfulness and eagerness with which they approached an activity I had expected them to reject outright. 7th grade boys writing poetry right? But in between the Haiku's about video games and Pizza Hut (which were pretty good in their own right) were some amazing ones full of imagery and emotion. It made me feel lucky to have the opportunity to teach them.

Today we had our tie ceremony where all of the students receive the ties that are part of their uniforms. One of our school leaders gave a wonderful speech about the importance of the ties and what they symbolized and then the teachers helped all the students to put on their bow ties. What an amazing 1/2 hour. These boys who all walked into school Monday with this tough exterior were humbled by the prospect of putting on a tie. We got to witnessed the beginning of their transformation into the men that they are starting to believe they can become.

Oh and nothing is cuter then 7th graders in bow ties. Seriously. Nothing. And I owned a bunny once.

Next week we have more professional development and then school starts on 8/17...Here is hoping for a weekend with plenty of time to relax, hang out with friends and make plans about what is to come. I never doubted that I made the right choice in coming here. But it was this week that I finally got to experience why.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Running on Empty...

But at least I'm running. no really actually running. again.

A result of the great people around me, their constant inspiration and kind words and of course modeling good behavior (there is my one shot out to TeachNOLA for this email.)
Had a great (busy) week with professional development at school. We have been getting acclimated to the school culture, learning about their assessments and plans for the year and decorating our classrooms. I have provided a photo below that is my reading corner...it is still missing 2 beanbags but I am really happy how it came out!


The new students join us next week for orientation and then everyone starts on August 17th so there is a little more time to prepare and get everything ready to go. i feel really lucky to be at such a great supportive school, as a new teacher I couldn't have hoped for anything better.


So with the first week in the bag, I am looking forward to a fun (busy) weekend with friends, finishing my classroom, lesson planning and doing all the start up work for my debate team! love to everyone!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

It Begins

Busy week! The students don't arrive for a while still but there is a library to assemble and catalog, a debate team to organize and lesson plans and lesson plans and lesson plans.

I feel very lucky to have so many friends in NOLA who are all going through the same stuff as me right now. It is awesome to be able to share experiences, challenges and successes with people.

I am bummed that I won't be able to make it up north before the school year starts but will be back soon enough. This new place, new job, new everything has been so good for me...I found the cross on Bourbon Street last night...it looks like "Christ climbed down" but unlike in the Ferlinghetti poem I think instead of slipping off into "some anonymous Mary's womb" he might have wondered into a strip club...

Monday, July 20, 2009

Being Tourist in My New Home Town

Had a great weekend! Martha, Larry, Laura and Colleen came down to the Big Easy and gave me a great opportunity to be a tourist in my new home town.

We had a great time eating Beignets at Cafe Du Monde, walking around the quarter and eating lots of good Cajun food.

While there have been lots of little things I have been doing over the last few days, it feels really nice to have a little down time before school starts. Official meetings start tomorrow when I will meet with my literacy team and pick books for the upcoming year. I am very excited to have the opportunity to play a real role in the curriculum development of my students!

Had a great day today walking around the city with a friend and drinking wine at Fritzels...am thinking cheese steak and daiquiris to go for dinner...I really love this town!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Part 1: Complete

We finished institute today! It feels so good to be preparing for the next stage of my life down here...actually teaching kids!

Our official graduation is on Wednesday but no more classes, books, teachers dirty looks...It has been a great experience so far. Much has been learned and the people I have met, just wow. I never thought I would be lucky enough to be surrounded by such kind, smart, generous people. I feel very lucky to have been chosen for this program.

I start school on the 22nd. We will spend sometime getting the school ready for the new year and then then have a week of training before we are joined by the kids on August 3rd. There is much to be done, but somehow I don't mind doing any of it. No, really what I mean is that I am enjoying doing all of it. What a change from my life in Boston.

I ran into the devil on Bourbon Street the other night and he smiled at me. My friend turned to me and said "its the only place in the world where sinners can be saints." I think he is right, and dare I say it, I think I am home...

Saturday, July 4, 2009

The Way It Was

With my mom in town I ventured outside of NOLA to visit some of the plantations from the 1800's. It is amazing how flat the land is here and once outside of the city how much of the land is still occupied with acres and acres of sugar cane crop.

We started our day at the Laura Plantation, an old Creole Plantation that was run by several generations of Creole women - something that was not uncommon in the Creole culture, but was certainly an oddity of the time amongst the Americans who did business with them.

The land was comprised of the main house (shown at the right), several gardens both for flowers as well as crops for the workers and house owners to eat from, slave quarters and acres of land that needed harvesting. While only 2 slave quarters remained, when the plantation was running there were 3 miles of salve quarters, each measuring only 16 feet by 16 feet and housing 4-5 people.

While no longer housing slaves, the old slave quarters were inhabited by residents until the early 1970's.

After the Laura Plantation we headed over to Oak Alley a more traditional "American Plantation" where we had a wonderful lunch of Po' Boys and Gumbo.

Overall a very insightful and fun trip out of the city...even though it was really really hot!

Friday, June 26, 2009

It just gets better


Today I had my second Snowball - raspberry flavored this time. Photo is below. They are so tasty...shaved ice and flavored syrup! Nothing better on a hot day, and every day is a hot day here.
I went shopping after class with a new friend and after finding maybe the cutest best clothing store in uptown we headed out to find me a car. On the way I happened to mention i had never had a Beignet and so after a short trip down a one way street we bought three for $1.65. Picture friend dough but SOOOO much better. Wow.

We made it to the car dealership eventually and test drove a Prius...so not for me...I mean 1. if i am going to spend that kind of cash on a car I am buying a Benz and 2. I really don't want to save the environment. You all know why :). I am going to head back tomorrow and pick me up a little Yaris. Supper cute, wicked cheap and perfect for city driving!

I also learned some new jargon today:

messy: gosspier
"can't hold water on her chest": can't keep a secret

OMG: oh my god (duh) but used down here exclusively in replacement of oh my god because people are so religious here. it is pretty funny to hear all sorts of people seeing stuff and going "OMG"! hard to explain but totally hysterical!

Anyway, I'm out...I'll post some photos of my new car once I buy it tomorrow! Much love to everyone.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

The things I have done

So this past week has been great. Work has been busy but I have been having a great time. his is such an amazing city. Full of great little restaurants and shops and nice people. This past week I have:

1. Eaten my first snowball. A yummy New Orleans snack that comes in like a million flavors. I had coconut and it totally lived up to the hype.
2. Ate fried chicken that was purchased at a corner store - no not like The Corner Store. It is just a purple corner store that sells fried chicken out of the back. It was incredible. And it hasn't made me sick yet! Go me for eating food prepared out of a corner store with no apparent kitchen!
3. Discovered (with the help of friends) several new restaurants and wine bars - including one that sells wine by the ounce, so you can try all sorts of wines in one sitting and compare and contrast- very fun
4. Ate the best, most authentic crepe that I have had since I was in Paris in 2000. OMG, I am still thinking about it it was so good
5. Stopped on the side of the road in the pouring rain and ran out of a car with a friend to by sugar candy from a street vendor called Royal Candy. We got soaked but it was worth it!

I am just keppin on keepin on...haven't yet figure out how to authentically work y'all into my day to day speech but I am working on it!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Being Present

So the really interesting thing about New Orleans is that everyone is ridiculously present. There isn't the planning that goes on in Boston. People don't think much about what is happening next until next happens. There is something really relaxing and calm about the city and the people.

Work is busy. I spend my mornings teaching and then have a short break and then am in class all afternoon. By the time I get home, finish lesson planning for the next day and eat dinner it's almost time to go to bed. Normally being that busy would make time feel like it is flying by...but here, it doesn't feel that way. I know I have only been here for about two weeks. Only left Boston 3 weeks ago...but it feels like a lifetime ago.

New Orleans isn't home yet. But without meaning to I think I found the place that allows me to just enjoy today...and not get caught up in the "what's next" thinking that has plagued me my whole life.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

My New Career

So training is underway. I am practice teaching in the morning and then in class in the afternoon. I am surrounded by talented educators and people like me who have come from a variety of backgrounds and are all committed to making a difference for the children of New Orleans.

I have also secured a job as a 7th grade English teacher which I am very excited about. The school runs 6-12 grade and I will have the chance to help them get a debate team off the ground and participate in other student activities if I choose.

The city continues to be a learning experience for me. It is so hot here, which is an adjustment and people are very warm (also an adjustment from Boston). The French Quarter is brimming with tourists all the time and i have yet to find replacements for my go to restaurants in Boston...I am so missing the Mooo mac and cheese right now...I know I have only been gone for 2 weeks but it feels like forever. It feels like EMI and Boston and all that was like my life 10 years ago, which I guess is a good thing.

I want to thank all my friends and family who I have heard from since I left. While I am excited to be a new place, meeting new people there is no replacement for old, good friends...so thank you!

Monday, June 8, 2009

So you can totally drink on the street here

So I am moved in, something I couldn't have done without the support of my wonderful little brother...I mean who else was going to carry to TV and put together my furniture? The photos I have posted here show my new place in progress, once I get rid of the rest of the boxes I will take some better ones.

This city is incredible. Edward likened it to being the last stop before Hell and I think he may be right. It is as though everyone looking for an excuse to forget themselves descends on Bourbon Street. Live music, plenty of "gentleman clubs" and drinking everywhere, oh and gambling.

I went to a job fair today and met with all sorts of schools. There were some good prospects from my perspective and hopefully one or two of them liked me to. It is hard not knowing where I will be teaching but I have some time still. The Institute starts tomorrow and then I will have the chance to meet all the people I will be working with all summer. Hopefully at least a couple of them are cool.

Thanks to all of you who have Facebooked, emailed, texted and written. It is always nice to hear from friends when you are so far away.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

On Top of the World and A Penske Truck

Tuesday June 2

So Pensacola Beach, not that easy to find, and even though the Target we stopped at was only 5 blocks from the bridge that takes one there, the employees (and we asked several of them) were unable to tell us how to get there. Truly bazaar.
It took two gas stations and a helpful local before we found our way but wow. So worth it. It’s like a giant sand bar shaped like a plus sign. Edward and I debated for a while about where we should spend the night, with him advocating for the top of the Penske truck and me for a hotel.
After climbing on top of the Penske truck and learning how unstable it was he changed his argument to the beach. He lost. Off to the most expensive Hampton Inn I have ever stayed at, Peg Leg Pete’s for dinner and then a late night swim in the Atlantic.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Georgia on My Mind

Monday June 1st


Savannah may be one of the coolest places I have been to. Edward and I arrived just before sunset and thanks to the very kind (and well tipped) valet we were allowed to park our Penske truck right out front of the hotel in their cab stand.

The city itself feels mysterious, historical and calm. You can’t help but slow down as you walk and take in the iron work, stairs carved into the sides of buildings and random other architectural details that make the city to unique place it is.

We had a great dinner, talked to the folks and headed to bed around 11pm with dreams of Pensacola Beach and a shopping trip to Target in our heads.
We got up early and explored the neighborhoods of the city in detail. We found a great diner for breakfast that was reminisent of the Franklin Trading Post, an old childhood haunt of Edward and I's.


We were on the road by 10am with hopes of finding ourselves on a white sand beach by sunset...

Counting the Cars on the New Jersey Turnpike

Sunday May 31st

After a great breakfast with the family (Rob, mom and Edward) at Moo...











and a stressful time at Penske we finally got to the house with our 16 foot (not 12 foot as was promised by the Penske people) truck.







With the help of my parents and brother along with friends Chuck, Deirdre and Joe we had the rental truck packed in about an hour.









Edward and I were off. An ambitious goal of making it to Woodbridge Virginia that night lay ahead of us. A location I had strategically chosen because of an Ikea location, and Edward was excited about because it got us through the Beltway during a non- rush hour time.


Edward fell asleep somewhere near Baltimore but with the help of some Red Bull we powered through and after a few precarious u-turns in our 16 foot truck we found a comfy place to crash for the night.

Our Monday morning Ikea trip was successful and since it turned out that all my stuff only filled like ¼ of a 16 foot Penske truck we had plenty of room for the furniture we bought. With the truck fully packed we headed on down to Georgia…

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Goodbye EMI

Just two days left of work. The company threw me a really nice going away event last night. Full of laughs, embarrassing toasts and plenty of wine. It's hard to believe I have been there for six years, and in some ways it is hard to imagine not ever going back. My work has defined me for so long. In many ways EMI was the only way I defined myself. Now as I head toward another career that in many ways will be just as encompassing it feels weird. I had come to embrace this idea of being an urban professional. Now I am something different, still urban, and still a professional, but now also a teacher.

It's time to go, it feels like the right time, but I will miss the people, the clients, the work, the office and even the bad days. I have grown a lot and I think the company has played a role in helping me to become the person I am today - for better or for worse.

So goodbye EMI. It's been real, and its been fun...and now its time to move on to the next thing!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

A real barbecue

Thank you to my good friend Jen who hosted a rockin' "real" barbecue yesterday at her awesome home. There is no better way to kick off summer then good friends, good hot dogs and all the trimmings. It was great to see people before I head out.

One of the hardest parts of leaving is all the cool people I am leaving behind. I know friendships transcend distance but distance still changes them. So many thanks to Jen for hosting...it was great to chill out in your backyard, watch the kids kill the pinata and enjoy the easy conversation that can only occur between friends.

I ended the day with a great sushi dinner with my dear friend Chuck...great food, great company and a great Lakers playoff game on the TV. I am trying to absorb (word chosen since I couldn't figure out how to spell soke?sook? whatever) as many good moments and create as many good memories as I can. Even though there are many things I am eager to leave behind in Boston, there is much I want to take with me.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Leaving on a jet plane

Or in a Penske truck. Same difference.

I leave for New Orleans on May 31st. My little brother and I are going to road trip it down there. Thinking of going coastal and staying on 95 as much as possible. I have yet to secure an apartment but have a few good leads and I am trusting in the universe that all will be well. I'll have a little less then a week to get settled in and hang out before I start training on June 9th.

I have to remember with this whole blog thing that anyone who chooses to read it can not also read my thoughts so I will take just a moment to back-up.

I am moving to New Orleans to become a high school teacher. The program I am working with will provide me training and job finding assistance over the summer and then starting in August/September I will be a real official teacher! Why New Orleans you may ask? Aren't you a pretentious east coast snob who gets mad when people don't walk fast enough? The answer to that is yes, I am. But I'm not very happy about it. Hence why New Orleans. I am looking for a change of pace, a change of life-style and the opportunity to positively impact a community that has gone through some bad times - and honestly Beacon Hill just wasn't qualifying as struggling just because of the rat problem.

I am excited to meet new people, try a new career and live in a new city. But I am also sad to leave behind friends and family I love, a job that was custom made for me and the city I have called home for 13 years.

I started this blog awhile ago not sure what to do with it...something I think is apparent in my early posts...but I am going to make an effort to use this blog to document my experiences in New Orleans, and my attempted transition from an uptight, pretentious north east professional into a laid-back, less stressed southern teacher. We'll see how it goes...

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Its All Been Done...

Parents have been told. Notice has been given at work. Countdown to leaving Boston is on. I know, and I know more each day as I pack boxes and say good bye to friends and family that this part of my life is done. The life where I live as a upper class wife in Beacon Hill and drive a Mercedes and use pretension like a shield is over. It is real. It is really happening and almost everybody knows. Like the song I fell in love with when I first heard it in Pump Up The Volume (please watch if you have not as of yet) "everybody knows the boat is sinking, everybody knows the captain lied."

Once I know where I will be I will make this blog live by connecting it to something. I don't know if people will read it or not but it will be my humble attempt to stay in touch - as one sided as it is - to everyone I am leaving behind.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Turning 30

I turn 30 next week. I hadn't thought much about it, expect that people keep asking me if I am OK with it. It seems to me that I don't have much option but to be OK with it. I can't go back and re-do my twenties, even though some days I think I would like to. And I can't jump ahead and be turning 33, a birthday when no one asks you if you are "OK with it", skipping the next 3 years, even though some days I think I would like to.

So am I OK with it? I honestly don't know. I guess it kind of depends on how everything shakes out. Maybe it is better to ask me how I felt about turning 30 when I am about to turn 31.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The Waiting is the Hardest Part...

I was saying goodbye to my 3 1/2 year old niece on Sunday and when I told her I would see her three weeks she said: "Aunty that is too long."

I had forgotten how our perception of time changes. When we are young we are always in a rush to get to the next thing, or at least I was, and then as I got older, I tried to focus more on where I was right now, even as time pushed me forward into the unknown. Now as I face down turning 30, all the while waiting to hear about where I will be moving on June 1st, I feel like a kid again. Like time won't move fast enough, that having to wait two whole weeks to hear something feels like an eternity. And yet June 1st represents such an ending, such a change that I am also trying to hold onto time. Capture each walk home, each glimpse of the city, each night out with friends, each moment dancing with my niece, each moment laughing with my husband and hold onto it.

By the time I see her again I will have to tell her I am leaving. Tell her it will be awhile until she sees me again. I will promise to write her letters and send her presents and only love her more each day. But it won't be the same ever again, and even at 3 1/2 she will know that. And it breaks my heart all over again.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Fun in the Suburbs

Took a trip to West Bridgewater last night. Even the people there from other suburbs called it "the stix". A friend of mine's brother plays in a great cover band called Road Soda and they played at the Charlie Horse. We had a great time, good music, good friends. It had been a while since I had been a live show and I forgot how much fun they can be.

It was a treat to get out of the city and try to put everything behind me, even if it was just for a night. I havn't told people I am leaving yet, so as everyone talks about plans for the summer and stuff that is coming up it all feels very phoney. It sometimes feels like a lot of work to be around people.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Leaving Defined

The word itself has been making me think. Leaving. Merriam Webster tells me it is from
Old High German "verleiben" to leave and Old English "belīfan" to be left over. They both feel right.

Leaving means both departing and remaining. When words have multiple means we usually take the one closest to what we meant and stick with that. But this time I am embracing both definitions. I am leaving but part of me will be left behind. The contradiction of the word feels appropriate this time.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Leaving New England

I have lived here all my life. Grew up in Maine, moved the Boston for college in 96' and never left. Every year there is at least one day in the middle of the winter when I think "this is my last winter in Boston." I can not imagine spending one more frozen, dirty, angry winter here. But it is home. And so it is with great trepidation, fear, hesitancy and heartbreak that I have decided to leave. Destination TBD, but I know it will be somewhere warm, even though I hate the heat almost as much as I hate the cold.

Since deciding the leave I have found myself enjoying winter more this year. Walking the streets of Beacon Hill and really noticing what a unique and amazing neighborhood it is. How snow clings to the gas lanterns and kids and dogs and college students and adults all seem to come together to tie red bows around trees for the holiday season and go sledding and skating on the Boston Common. Time goes by so fast and now as the winter skies turn to a hopeful spring, the decision to leave has become all the more real. A countdown has been set. It is time to start packing bags, wrapping plates and mugs to protect them during the long journey, and take stock in what I am leaving behind - because as usually it is far more then hard winters.