I was saying goodbye to my 3 1/2 year old niece on Sunday and when I told her I would see her three weeks she said: "Aunty that is too long."
I had forgotten how our perception of time changes. When we are young we are always in a rush to get to the next thing, or at least I was, and then as I got older, I tried to focus more on where I was right now, even as time pushed me forward into the unknown. Now as I face down turning 30, all the while waiting to hear about where I will be moving on June 1st, I feel like a kid again. Like time won't move fast enough, that having to wait two whole weeks to hear something feels like an eternity. And yet June 1st represents such an ending, such a change that I am also trying to hold onto time. Capture each walk home, each glimpse of the city, each night out with friends, each moment dancing with my niece, each moment laughing with my husband and hold onto it.
By the time I see her again I will have to tell her I am leaving. Tell her it will be awhile until she sees me again. I will promise to write her letters and send her presents and only love her more each day. But it won't be the same ever again, and even at 3 1/2 she will know that. And it breaks my heart all over again.
No comments:
Post a Comment