Resolutions

I hate these things.  Resolutions.  I never stick to them.  And I am never sure if, at the end of any given year, I am better off then I was when it started.  But I am here and there are children growing bigger and smarter every day.  And there are companies to run and work to do.  And I am here.  And when I look back, the one thing I am sure of is that every failure has brought me to this moment.

A wise shrink once told me that aspiring to be happy is a useless pursuit.  That happiness is an unsustainable state.  But instead we should strive for contentment.  Because in contentment we leave ourselves open to happiness.  I like that.  It feels attainable.

And I am reminded, because I am here, that in addition to all of those failures there were also a lot of moments of bravery.  Of deciding to jump.  Because I knew what life looked like where I was and it was time.  Time to do something different.  And that it isn't just me that is here.  That I didn't have to make those jumps alone.  I have been lucky enough to have family, friends, a husband who have stood with me.  And who have given me the confidence (and sometimes the push) I needed.

So I resolve, not for 2016, but for as many years as I am lucky enough to still be here, to be proud of where I have been, excited about where I am going, and present enough to be open to the moments of happiness as they come.

May 2016 bring you the peace that comes when you are content with your life and the courage you need to make changes.

~Meleena

Little Moments

Life tracks back to the little moments.  The ones when at the time you don't realize the ripple effects it will have for years to come.  We celebrate our milestones, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays.  Mark the passing of the years with Christmas Trees and birthday cakes.  Count the grey hairs deciding just when it is time to buy a box of hair dye once reserved for teen rebellion.

We don't dwell on the missed phone calls, minor slights and coffee breaks.  But if we track back the course of our lives we will find it is those little moments that set the course.  And it impossible mostly to recognize them when they come.  To be able to see where they will take us.  Because our memories are flawed it is hard to look back on them with accuracy.  We forget the details.  And maybe that is for the best.