Resolutions

I hate these things.  Resolutions.  I never stick to them.  And I am never sure if, at the end of any given year, I am better off then I was when it started.  But I am here and there are children growing bigger and smarter every day.  And there are companies to run and work to do.  And I am here.  And when I look back, the one thing I am sure of is that every failure has brought me to this moment.

A wise shrink once told me that aspiring to be happy is a useless pursuit.  That happiness is an unsustainable state.  But instead we should strive for contentment.  Because in contentment we leave ourselves open to happiness.  I like that.  It feels attainable.

And I am reminded, because I am here, that in addition to all of those failures there were also a lot of moments of bravery.  Of deciding to jump.  Because I knew what life looked like where I was and it was time.  Time to do something different.  And that it isn't just me that is here.  That I didn't have to make those jumps alone.  I have been lucky enough to have family, friends, a husband who have stood with me.  And who have given me the confidence (and sometimes the push) I needed.

So I resolve, not for 2016, but for as many years as I am lucky enough to still be here, to be proud of where I have been, excited about where I am going, and present enough to be open to the moments of happiness as they come.

May 2016 bring you the peace that comes when you are content with your life and the courage you need to make changes.

~Meleena

Little Moments

Life tracks back to the little moments.  The ones when at the time you don't realize the ripple effects it will have for years to come.  We celebrate our milestones, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays.  Mark the passing of the years with Christmas Trees and birthday cakes.  Count the grey hairs deciding just when it is time to buy a box of hair dye once reserved for teen rebellion.

We don't dwell on the missed phone calls, minor slights and coffee breaks.  But if we track back the course of our lives we will find it is those little moments that set the course.  And it impossible mostly to recognize them when they come.  To be able to see where they will take us.  Because our memories are flawed it is hard to look back on them with accuracy.  We forget the details.  And maybe that is for the best.

Accomplishments and Fear

My second book was published a few weeks ago now.  North of Boston, originally titled "I can't come to the phone right now" after my blog is a book of short stories.  That is the simple description.  But it is more then that.  It is a book of dreams and moments.  Nightmares and might have beens.  I used my friend's Facebook status updates to inspire my writing every day for nearly a year.  And what I found, in myself, was that I need to write.  If I don't something eats at my insides.

When my first book came out it was easy to distance myself from it...I wrote it years ago, it was fiction and so even if a character here or there was loosely based on someone no one would ever know.  But North of Boston is something else entirely.   And so with the accomplishment of having had it accepted for publication, came the fear that somehow I would be found out.  What if my father-in-law recognized himself in a story and didn't like it?  What if my best friend from my youth assumed something was about her?  What if my husband (or ex-husband) didn't like what I had written?

When you write, fiction or otherwise, you put a piece of yourself on paper.  And when you publish you take that piece of paper and share it with everyone you know, and the people you don't.  North of Boston isn't just a book of short stories.  It is a collection of snapshots of a life, some real and some imagined.  All viewed in the moment, without the perspective of past or future events.  Without the hope that things might get better on the next page.

Birthdays

Birthdays are an interesting thing as you get older.  They become a place of reflection, of considering what one has accomplished, of what one has failed at.  It can cause us to take a closer look at how we spend our time...to review just how much we have wasted in anger and regret, stuck in traffic and behind a desk.  How many first days of schools and little league games have been overlooked.  I spent time today trying to remember as many of my birthdays as I could and found that most are at best vague recollections and at worst completely absent from my memory.

I remember turning 4 and my mother finding chicken pox on me the day of my party and having to have it canceled.

I remember the year I turned 9 and my Hawaiian themed party was almost canceled because of the foot of snow that fell over night.

I remember the year I turned 17 and my mother dragged me up to a ski resort so my brother could snowboard.

I remember going to dinner at Rialto in Harvard Square when I turned 21 and drinking Bailey's on the rocks.

I remember turning 24 in Maycomb, Illinois and my students bought me a grocery store cake tat we ate with our hands in a hotel room.

I remember turning 30 perfectly.  Because everything I had planned for my life was laying in shambles at my feet.  Grilled cheese and tomatoes soup for lunch. An early dinner at Mooo.  Gifts so impersonal they could have been for anyone.

I remember turning 31 in New Orleans and eating Domino's for lunch with co-workers and the cake my husband had my nickname written on.

I remember turning 35 while on a business trip in Boston and the kindness of my co-workers.

So many gaps.  So many years that have blended together.  Do I dare say this will be the year that I try to slow down, live in the moment, taste my coffee, close my laptop?  Maybe I should start now.

Late Night TV Marketing Fail: Vermont Teddy Bear and Law and Order

I pulled an all nighter a few nights ago...not because I had some crazy work deadline or was working on finishing my second novel...I was trying to finish the Valentine gift my son had requested for his classmates.  And I had really underestimated how long it was going to take.

After mid-night TV gets weird.  And I was happy to find a Law and Order marathon to have on the background while I crocheted until my fingers cramped up.  My learning from that night is not how many stuffed giraffes I can make in a 12 hour period (the answer is 11), but that there are few companies willing to advertise that late.  Between midnight and 6am I must have seen 20 ads for Vermont Teddy Bears 4 foot tall bear.  Also advertising was a company wanting to help me sign up for health care, a company who wanted my husband to buy me roses and Sherries Berries who successfully convinced me I would never want to be friends with a couple who purchased from them.

Except for the health care company who was gender neutral in their ads, everyone else was targeting men.  And not subtly.  Watch the Vermont Teddy Bear ad (link above) and see what I mean...these were ads that were not meant to appeal to me as a women at all.  As a marketer I am intrigued by these types of ads so I did a quick Google search to find out who exactly watches Law and Order...and the whole first page of results came back with articles about how much WOMEN watch the show.  And not just the show that runs new episodes, but the re-runs that TNT plays, and that I was watching.  If you visit the TNT viewer profile more women watch then men.  This makes me question the companies running ads...did they do their research?  By excluding an entire gender from their ads they no doubt lost business...Vermont Teddy Bear could have just as easily created that ad to be geared towards both genders, or parents, since the only person I know that wants a 4 foot bear is my 3 year old.  And who knows...if they had done that, they probably would have made a 3am sale to me.

Share a Coke with...Reflections of a Viral Campaign

I am a marketer by trade.  And most days I will tell you by passion as well.  I appreciate good advertising, applaud promotions that actually get me into a store and have no problem completing surveys and answering questions because I understand the underlying goal.  This makes me a boring dinner date.

I am also brand loyal.  To a fault.  When I like a company or product I don't even consider the alternatives and when I don't, well no promotion will get me in the door.  I have been drinking Coke, Diet Coke and now Coke Zero since I was in utero.  I am the horrible person in the restaurant who when asked "Is Pepsi OK?" I say no and order something else.  For years Coke has been my go to brand, without hesitation. 

Until this past summer...

You see, I didn't want to share a Coke with my BFF or a wingman.  I didn't want to think about what my high school boyfriend Zack is doing or my nemesis from elementary school Anna has going on these days.  If I want to be reminded of my past I will visit Facebook on #TBT.  I just want to drink a Coke Zero.  In peace.  No memories of people, no reminders that I don't have more friends, no suggestions for who I should interact with today.  I have actually stood in convenient stores looking through the Coke bottles to find one with a name or reference that did not conjure a memory.

From a marketing standpoint this campaign was genius.  Lots of opportunity for viral advertising, lots of images posted, connections created between consumer and product...from a marketing perspective they did everything right and then some.  But for me, for the person, not the marketer, my loyalty eroded with every suggestion that I should share a Coke with a legend, with Jared, with Samantha.  And I know I am not the only one who felt that way...